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Struggling with grief can be a difficult process, particularly for teens. Teens are still learning who they are and how to cope with the world around them. In addition, adolescents are still adjusting to their changing bodies, making teens more emotional. There are also some misconceptions and changing information about grief. For example, there is currently disagreement about whether grief occurs in stages as previously thought. Also, many well-meaning friends and family may encourage grieving teens to "move on" or try not to think about it, which may only perpetuate the grief and slow the bereavement process. There are ways to help teens express and cope with their grief in a healthy way.
Journals are useful for anyone who needs to express thoughts and feelings. For teens who are grieving, teens can use journals to express their grief privately and say things they may feel uncomfortable saying to others. Journals can be handwritten in a notebook or on loose sheets of paper, or they can be typed in a word processing program. Teens can be encouraged to write what they are thinking in narrative form or creatively in the form of poetry or song lyrics. They do not have to share the journal with anyone unless they want to.
Grieving teens can gather photographs and mementos to create a scrapbook or collage. Parents or loved ones can work with them as part of the healing process, or if the teen prefers, the project can be done by oneself. For a scrapbook, the teen could buy any scrapbook from a discount or hobby store or fasten sheets of paper together and glue the photographs on the paper. The young person may wish to write on the page or use scrapbooking accessories. The teen could write single words to describe the deceased person or descriptions about the photographs such as when they were taken and what was going on. Ticket stubs from sporting events or movies can also be included. The same principles apply for making a collage except generally a single background item is used, such as a sheet of paper, poster board or large sheet of cardboard.
Many times when someone dies, the people left behind feel they have unfinished business. Often there was an unresolved issue or something that survivors wish they could have said before their loved one died. Writing a letter is a useful strategy for resolving those issues. Grieving teens can write a letter as if the person who died will actually read it. They can say anything they wish they could have said such as, "I love you," "I'm sorry" or even "I hate you." They should be encouraged to write whatever they need to say, even if it is hurtful.
Grief is a complex emotion, and younger or less emotionally mature teens may have difficulty expressing what they feel. Sentence completion tasks can help them express what they are thinking and feeling in a more effective way. The Dougy Center provides examples such as "When the person died I ..." and "The thing that makes me feel saddest is...."